Tiff's Blog

The Zen of Taugay-Plucking

Clunky Monkey — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 17:12:34 +0000

3 March 08 — Take a look at this picture.

Yep, it’s a plate of bean sprouts. Take a second look. Notice anything special about it?…

You have no idea what is the significance of this picture, have you? Give up? See, this is a plate of bean sprouts that has its scraggly ends removed by a 31-year old Singaporean female, in anticipation of its use in a Cambodian fish noodle soup.

And so? You still have not figured it out? All you Singaporean females between the ages of 25 – 35: when was the last time you had the luxury of time/energy to cook for your family, let alone pluck the scraggly ends off tau-gay one by one?

Today I did. Or more precisely, today I REALISE I did. It made me feel good.
–>
For the first instance since I have been back to Singapore did I appreciate the fact that I have time on my hands. Prior to today, I have been a restless, nervous wreck who felt completely lost and despondent that here I was in my 30s with no kids, no house, no job and no hubby by my side. Doesn’t help that Singapore changes so much so rapidly. When I wander around town, I’m like “Where am I?!?” I feel like a complete stranger in my own country. In more ways than one, I feel so utterly displaced. Hardly had I gotten off the plane did I feel the urge to leave again. But where? Plagued by self-doubt and a claustrophobic disquiet, I felt an urgent rush to find myself another job. The process though has been much sabotaged by my own uncertainty as to where I wanted to be next – the US with William, back home in Singapore with family, or somewhere else on my own again. Till now I have no answers. I have suffered countless insomniac nights trying to figure it out. I have always confidently treated guests for insomnia – the typical remedies I swear by include Passionflower, Skullcap, Chamomile and Oats; somehow I prefer these gentle nervines to the stinky Herculean Valerian – but never knew insomnia to be so disconcerting till now.

And the thing is, it’s crazy how caught up I am in this job-seeking intention (I say intention as opposed to action because to be honest, I have hardly begun the process) because truth be told, no one’s really giving me any pressure other than myself to hurry into another job. William plans to return to Singapore in a bit, so the task he’s assigned me is simply to sit tight for a few weeks till he comes. I mean geez, the guy has no qualms about me doing nothing and charging my expenses to his credit card. All he wants me to do is to spend some time with family and friends back home for a bit so he can concentrate on his new pet project. Sounds like the dream situation for any wife, doesn’t it? Being able to wake at mid-day, no meeting to rush to, no boss to report to, no deadline to meet, no kid to feed, no maid to keep an eye on… Like how many of you out there wouldn’t kill to be in my position? But no… I had to be the neurotic, delusional panic-stricken wife who makes it out to be the most disastrous mid-life case of dejection and rejection.

This is all in hindsight of course. I am faring much better today. As mentioned, ever since I made the decision to snap out of this indulgent self-pity by simply preparing dinner for my family, and discovering the Zen of plucking bean sprouts one by one, I am savoring the pleasure of having time to kill. It is nice to have time to cook for the ones you love. Having had no access to a kitchen in the Maldives, it is also exhilarating to be slicing and mixing and stirring and frying all over again. Cooking requires you to focus on the task at hand. It requires you to live in the present moment, and in doing so, it is terrifically therapeutic. In fact, though I used to loathe it, even the washing up after I now find rather curative.

The end product of today’s meal…

…tah-dah! Cambodian style fish noodle soup.

So yes, I take a deep breath. I make a decision. For now, since I have yet to reach a conclusion, I shall stop tormenting my psyche with questions like “where should I go” or “what should I do”. I shall cease all self-limiting, self-defeating thoughts that come to no avail. I shall just let it all rest for a while. Instead, I shall fully appreciate the luxury of having this mini respite from all of life’s responsibilities. I shall bask in the opulence of guilt-free bumming and shamelessly lap up the full glory of freeloading. And the only question I shall seriously ponder…

“What should I cook tomorrow?”

FISH AND NOODLE SOUP (serves 4)

Ingredients:
200g dried rice vermicelli
1 tablespoon oil
2.5cm piece of fresh ginger, grated
3 small red chillies, finely chopped
4 spring onions, chopped
800ml coconut milk
2 tablespoons fish sauce
2 tablespoons tomato puree
500g white fish fillets, cut into 2cm cubes
2 ham steaks, chopped into small cubes
150g snake beans, cut into short lengths
2 cups bean sprouts, scraggly ends removed
1 cup fresh mint leaves
½ cup unsalted roasted peanuts

Method:
1. Soak the rice vermicelli in boiling water for 5 minutes, then drain
2. Heat the oil in a large, heavy-based pan. Add the ginger, chillies and spring onion and cook over medium heat for 3 minutes, or until onion is golden.
3. Stir in the coconut milk, fish sauce and tomato puree, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.
4. Add the fish cubes, ham and snake beans to the pan and simmer for 10 minutes, or until fish is tender.
5. Divide the rice vermicelli among deep soup bowls. Top with the bean sprouts.
6. Carefully spoon the soup into the bowls, sprinkle with roasted peanuts and garnish with the mint leaves.

Into the Blue

Clunky Monkey — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 01:36:27 +0000

17 Nov 2007 — I saw my first turtle diving at Pineapple Reef today. In fact, I saw two. I squealed with delight, not so much because I saw them, but because the promise that I will see them for the first time today was fulfilled. In the last few minutes of the dive no less. As if that was not enough, my massage with Nui didn’t get bumped. Seriously? A 6pm appointment on a Saturday? With Nui? This is too much… it ended at 7.30pm, the sky had just begun to turn dark, but not quite, there was the faintest hint of pink and violet left in the horizon. I was in a state of bliss. In this state, I was untouchable. Just as well. Death must feel this good.

The beauty of the Maldives stirs something deep within. It moves you in a profound way. How did I come to be here? To witness this perfect night before me? How can anything faze me here when I am in the midst of grace. No, nothing, it is all good. The rest, just let it slide. All is forgiven. In this place, my heart expands to match the vastness of my surroundings and the magnitude of God’s benevolence. Can I truly bear this beauty? And how shall I bid adieu come January? I shall return. I must return.

Rangali Birthday

Clunky Monkey — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 18:11:13 +0000

15 Nov 2007 – It’s been a week, how time flies… I didn’t have high hopes for my birthday. It’s the first I’ve celebrated “on my own” in a long time, and to top it off, Yukiko who left a few days before for her vacation was not even around to celebrate it with me. Not that I’m the sort that makes a big deal of these things anyway. So yep, the day arrived and still I had no plans, save to dive.

And dive I did. It was a lovely day too, perfect weather.

This time my dive master was Bobo.

And Yoshi was there too.
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Paradigm Shift

Clunky Monkey — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 16:48:33 +0000

21 Oct 2007 - It’s amazing how quickly a situation can change based on one’s attitude and outlook towards it. Two weeks back, I realize I was sliding down the slippery slope to depression and dearth once more. The lower I sunk, the faster I slid, the more out of reach the brakes. I recognize the signs and symptoms from my days in Hua Hin. I had to put a stop to this noxious nonsense, because at the end of the day, that’s all it is, nonsense. A year from now, I would look back and think what a load of crap this all was, wasting precious moments wallowing in much about nothing when I could be spending my time in a much better frame of mind. It would be a travesty to think I even bothered to feel that much angst about the situation – geez, even vegetating on reruns of reruns of Seinfeld as pathetic as it sounds would be more constructive. So, I stop. Just stop.

Seriously, if you set your mind to do something fiercely enough, you can. Two imaginary tight slaps and just snap out of it already. Are we still having this conversation? Yawn… I’m already bored.

To end the ennui, I tendered my resignation on 2 October. I’m not leaving just yet though, there’s a three-month notice period that I have to serve up – absolutely brutal. Usually when the thought emerges that it’s time to go, you kinda want to leave NOW, to drag it out over three months… but all along I knew that was the case, so in a way I was mentally prepared for it. I’m not alone. There might be a mass exodus in January. But hey, I did it! By the time I bid my fond farewell, I would have achieved my one-year benchmark, a goal I had set myself. So you see, I can survive. I did survive. And no, no regrets whatsoever. I have had a blast here.

And when I say “fond farewell”, there is not a trace of sarcasm either. In fact, just today I thought the closer I get to leaving, the more I love this place and its inhabitants. Yep, the people and their quirks no longer irritate or disconcert me. I just laugh and shirk it off, accepting and appreciating all their perfect imperfections. As for social and work-related twists and turns, come, join in the game. See it for the game that it is and strategize your move to your best advantage, one that would serve to amuse and ease your final days. Why take it so seriously? Don’t sweat the small stuff. In the bigger scheme of things, we are mere players.

A few distractions can do wonders to uplift the mind and soul too. Making travel plans is always top on the list in this aspect. Yep, William and I will be heading to Europe end November early December. It’s crazy, everyone here at the resort’s visiting warm places like Thailand, Malaysia, Dubai and Sri Lanka, but us, we are meeting the cold head on. What to do? My hubby refuses to travel too far a distance, so we agreed to meet half-way = two weeks in Munich-Milan-Vienna. One perk I guess is that it’s low-season over in that part of the world, so whoo-hoo I’m getting a rate that’s a fraction of the price of even a hostel, inclusive of breakkie no less! And yes, we are talking about the Hiltons in these cities, hee hee, must milk all these benefits right?…

I’ve also embarked on baking, or more precisely, I have taken up disturbing Jaya the pastry chef at midnight every Saturday. When all is quiet, I would inconspicuously (or so I think) wander into the kitchen and in the wee hours of the morning, the two of us would craft up a delightful array of breads – dark rye loaves, multi-grain rolls, brioches, banana bread, strawberry jam filled doughnuts, sesame bread sticks, scones, almond cupcakes, white sandwich slices, raisin toast, crispbreads, French sticks, English muffins, Italian ciabatas, Aussie teacakes, and a whole gamut of Danish pastries – almond, peach, chocolate, raisin, blueberry and plain.

The smell of freshly baked cheese rolls, the feel of moist heavy dough in your hands, the stillness and silence interrupted only by the occasional hum of the oven, the sight of warm white chocolate trickling down the sides of a doughnut, the sensation of sinking your teeth into an almond croissant that has seconds ago been basking in a hot oven, the rupture as its frosting meets your palate for the very first time… and you wonder why I pay homage religiously?

And as much as I love working with the materials and gazing upon the end products, the process would certainly not be half as enjoyable if not for my very patient and kind mentor Jaya. I love him! He takes so much pains to explain in lengths the different ingredients, the machinery, the methods of cooking, the schedule of delivery, everything, just everything. I find myself transfixed by all he has to impart while I follow not half a step behind everywhere he goes. It is absolutely fascinating.

I remember in my RV days, when we were made to run the 6.5km around Pandan Reservoir every weekend, the only saving grace was when we rounded the bend close to the finish line, the aroma of freshly baked bread from the nearby Gardenia factory would permeate the air we breathe. In anticipation of that, I hung on and ran just a little faster. I once even entertained the thought that I would go work part-time in that factory just to experience that scent up close and personal. Heck! I would work for free; they could pay me in bread. Stupid girl.

18 years from then, my dreams have come true. I relish it. Some around here are starting to suggest I invite them when next I go. Hmm… I’m seriously reluctant, not so much for fear that a larger group would invite unnecessary attention and hence have the extra-curricular activity ceased, but because the presence of another would surely disrupt the delicate meditative quality of my visits. We’ll see. In the meantime, I have an invitation next weekend to concoct some pastries.

But more so than any trivial holiday-planning or even bread-making is a formidable, almost frightening diversion that has forcefully dominated every last waking moment (and then some) of my otherwise monotonous island-existence. Meekly, and quite happily, I surrender. I admit it, I am utterly addicted, way way way past the point of no return. The force is Facebook. That is all I will say. That is all I need to say.

Care Packs

Clunky Monkey — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 17:08:06 +0000

14 Oct 2007 — Haha! Finally yesterday I received my FedEx package from Billie, after several days of custom-related dramas and woes. Fine, fine, I’ll pay your bloody duty already, just give me my freaking parcel! Happy thoughts, happy thoughts… so yes, of late, I have been showered! Absolutely showered with gifts from all directions – haha, even if much of it was prompted by myself – making me feel both blessed and very very rich!

So as mentioned, first of all, Billie’s FedEx parcel: what goes there? Eeeks, so exciting!

My Anthropologie dress, which is now in the right size. The US’s liberal exchange policies is sooo darling!
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President

Clunky Monkey — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 20:21:51 +0000

30 Sep 2007 — About a month back, I had to go Male for a few days to attend Kissaru 07, which is a job fair organized by the Maldivian Youth centre, aimed at providing an opportunity for youth to meet with employers from various sectors and explore the diversity of jobs available in the Maldives.

This event was officially opened by the President, who as these events go, delivered the promise of an inescapably long and tedious speech — made all the more painful because I was in my uniform standing under a tent under the Maldivian sun not understanding a single word of Dhivehi. He then took a walk round to all the various stalls, during which I had the honour to be graced by his presence and even got to shake his hands. The moment was apparently captured and featured on the news that night — and so many a fellow team members informed me the next day. Oh well, it was just funny to me, meeting this man, wouldn’t have otherwise looked twice passing him on the streets. It was my five seconds of Maldivian telly fame, and that was it, over and done with.

But then lo and behold, an envelope from the President’s Office was delivered to the resort, and herein lies its contents:

Wah… I so duah-bai ah? The president himself actually sent me a photo of our “moment” together, not the other way round?!? Haha! I guess I should find a solid-gold frame to display it or something equally befitting. If for nothing else, this makes for an amusing dinner party story, another quirky Maldivian memory for later on.

On the Job

Clunky Monkey — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 15:15:35 +0000

26 Sep 2007 – Recently a Singaporean PR contacted me to say that Straits Times might be keen to do an article on me, apparently the unlikely combination of my nationality and the locality of my workplace is rather unique and even news-worthy. They sent me a bunch of questions to answer, and I thought I’d share them with you so you too have a better idea of what exactly it is I do here – No, quite contrary to popular belief, I do not spend my days lounging on the beach!

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Dive!

Clunky Monkey — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 08:27:59 +0000

19 Sep 2007 – Hey everyone! You are now officially reading the blog of a PADI certified Open Water Diver! Whoohoo! Yes! Yes! I’ve done it! From 16 – 18 September, Marcus, Jason and I took a crash course in diving, and man… now we’re totally hooked! I must admit that on the first day, when we had to do the exercise of removing our mask underwater, I totally freaked out and almost, just almost threw in the towel at that point. But thank goodness my dive buddies, and especially our instructor, Harvey-He’s-the-Man, were so patient and encouraging that I somehow managed to curb my fear, and stuck it out. Yep, and it does get easier and easier with each dive. Of course, drowning down a whole bottle of Rescue Remedy probably had something to do with it.

But panic attacks aside, the rest of it was sheer unadulterated fun, fun, FUN! And frankly, I am sooo lucky to be doing it in an environment like the Maldives because even for our confined water dives, instead of doing it in a pool as you would typically do in a city, we already headed out to the lagoon where there was plenty to see, thus making the experience much less daunting and a lot more colourful. Haha, and I also had great dive buddies (yep, that’s dive lingo, “buddy”) who were just cracking me up all throughout the course, yes, even underwater! Have you tried laughing really hard underwater with a regulator in your mouth?!? Fish aside, the next best thing had got to be doing forward and backward flips underwater. The boys also showed off some sub-aqua Matrix-like moves – absolutely side-splitting hilarious!

It was perfect! The absolute best experience I’ve had since coming to the Maldives. Hey! That’s what coming to a place like this is all about right?!! So yep! Guess where I’ll be come my next off day? Down Below! Rock on!

See what I mean about the boys?!?

Underwater Hand Signals?!?

Haha, gearing up to look the part!

Having My Parents Here

Clunky Monkey — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 00:55:12 +0000

12 Sep 2007 - My goodness, how long has it been since I last wrote?!? Geez… and so much has been happening as well! Which partly explains why… reason being that I’ve been saving my days off. Yes, my precious one single day off… firstly cause 妈妈 and 老爸 finally came to the Maldives! Yes, they were really here! More to come on that of course. And secondly, I’m saving my days off again to do a diving course in a couple of weeks. So no days off = totally shacked = no time to blog. Sorry folks.

The thing that prompted me to finally get off my butt was that I received the loveliest surprise yesterday morning. As usual I was in the staff room when my recep came to inform me that a guest wanted to see me. Shit, sinking feeling… usually when a guest specifically asks to see you, it spells trouble… what have I done wrong now… With slight apprehension, I entered the relaxation room where the guest was waiting, a certain Mrs Roxanne Richards, hmm… not one of my package guests, wonder why she wants to see me… oh well, we’ll find out soon enough. “Oh hello Tiffany, I wanted to meet you to let you know what an amazing writer you are. I’ve been reading your blog, you write really well.” Wh-wh-wh-what?… My jaw would have hit the ground had I not resisted the urge. Oh wow… I TOTALLY wasn’t expecting anything like this. What a compliment, and yes, a definite reminder that there are people out there who are actually reading my blog. Some more than others. I can’t let them down. I must write! So yes, thank you very much Roxanne for the gentle nudge to get back on track.

So as I had mentioned, YES YES YES, would you believe it, my parents were actually here at the resort! Imagine that, my 妈妈 snorkeling in the Great Indian Ocean, oh well, trying to anyway. And my 老爸, geez… there was no getting him out of that Jacuzzi! We also wined and dined to our heart’s content on the finest of cuisine, went on a fabulous champagne sunset cruise and just spent many a magical moment together. I’m getting all emotional again just recalling their stay, and I’d better not start bawling like I did cause I happen to be in a very public place at the moment.
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Hanoi

Clunky Monkey — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:14:06 +0000

2 August 2007 - I know I’m terrible when it comes to blogging about vacations. Thing is, as eager as I am to share all our adventures and travel experiences, and of course photos, it always seems like such a colossal effort to cover everything that I don’t know where to begin, and hence often don’t. However, I did give my word that I would cover the entire process from the proposal to the honeymoon (NOT to say that this is the official one, better state that first before my hubby gets any funny ideas. Heh!), so here I am delivering my promise.

So when we told people that we were going to Hanoi for our honeymoon, the main response tended to be “Erh Hanoi? Nothing much to do one leh.” Well that may be true compared to some other places in the world, but seriously, we didn’t have enough time to do all the things we wanted to do. In fact, would you believe it? We were so caught up with whatever we were doing that we didn’t even have time to go pay Uncle Ho a visit, THE number one tourist attraction in Hanoi, save for Ha Long Bay of course. But what is even more unthinkable is that the whole time there, with seamstress, tailors and fabrics abound, in a city where even shoes can be made-to-measure, all I bought in terms of clothing was one dress! One single dress?!? And no, it wasn’t that there was a lack of choice, but somehow I just wasn’t particularly keen.

So what were we doing? Yeah, what did we do? Well, we were very busy taking our own sweet time to do much about nothing. Honestly. And it was hard not to. The vibe of the place commands it. Here’s an instance when we weren’t particularly productive…

…and here’s another…

Haha, another topless picture of poopie!

And it’s strange because actually if you look around, there’s quite a bit of hustle and bustle going on. The traffic never stops, nor does the honking, and the streets are lined with people and activities of all manner, so much so that one is often forced to walk off the pavement and onto the roads where one has to jostle with cars, buses, bikes and cyclos. And yet, for some odd inexplicable reason, there is at the same time a very idyllic mood in the air, almost as if you were caught in a dreamscape and everything was passing by in slow-mo. How can the two scenarios I’ve just painted co-exist you ask? Well, that is the mystery of Hanoi.
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