Crossing Over Rabbits?
23 July 2005 - Whoa! Last night I had one of those scary terror attacks again, you know, the kind where you lie there wanting to move, but is immobilised, and wanting to scream out to your partner who’s just sleeping next to you, but can’t even open your mouth, and even if you could, no sound comes out. And you have to summon up your very last ounce of strength to just speak out… scary…
Yep, kena one of those last night at 3.30 in the morning. Precipitated by a “Crossing Over” type dream/nightmare. Somehow I had found myself in front of a group of people, kind of like John Edwards on the show, and suddenly I could hear the voice of this old lady who was talking incessantly to me. Instinctively I knew she was from “the other side” and I thought “no, no, no, I don’t want to hear you, I’m not interested in what you have to say, you’re not real!” And she was like “too bad, too late” and even while I struggled to shut her out, what I couldn’t stop was the overpowering smell of cigarette smoke that got stronger and stronger. I remember thinking I know that brand of cigarettes and immediately related it to one person — my Zee Um’s grandmother, who happened to have just passed away a month back. And with the smoke choking up my airways, I could hardly deny her existence anymore. I’ve heard of clairvoyant, clairaudient and clairsentient, but clairolfactory?!? C’mon!
Then I could sense that she wasn’t alone, she had brought along another lady, also from the other side. Great, now we have ourselves a little party. And they were trying to convince me that whether I like it or not, this is going to be an ability that I’ll develop. So no point fighting it. In fact, this isn’t the first time it’s happened right? And then I remembered that no, this is the second, the first was a mother and son team, but that time I couldn’t smell them. They went on to tell me that I could delay acquiring this “skill” by convincing myself I had to go through many courses and taking baby steps, or I could attain it right now by accepting the fact that I am able to do it. Erm, ok, conversing with the deceased, is that really a gift I want? Boy did I feel cornered…
While I couldn’t sense any animosity coming from the two women, still these were dead people, and that just freaked me out! That was when I tried and tried to call out to William. Which I thought I eventually did, not realizing I was still dreaming. So I dreamt that I woke up, and to comfort me, William started singing a song about rabbits. But when I closed my eyes (in my dream) trying to fall back to sleep, I saw this herd of rabbits rushing past me straight into the BBQ, which we later then ate?!? Oh Man! I really want to wake up now. So again, I tried with all my might, and this time I really woke up… or did I? Maybe I’m still dreaming, dreaming that I woke up and blogged about my dream… Now (ala Chuang Tze, 庄子) I wonder: “Am I a mediumistic girl who dreamt of being a rabbit, or am I a girly rabbit dreaming that I am a medium?”
And just in case you were wondering, no, I’m not on LSD.