17 Sep 2006 — So where am I now? Thailand, Singapore or Sydney? SYDNEY!!! After 5 months and 11 days, I finally stepped foot again on Aussie soil — and not a moment too soon. Never thought I’d miss downunder THIS much! Surprisingly made it through customs ok, not too much drama at all. Hmph! This Billie, as usual, not in sight. Damn, no mobile nor coins somemore. Need to get some change. Ok, bottle of Mount Franklin from newsagency. Gave the cashier a $5 note, got back 1 $1 coin and 2 $0.50 coins.

That’s it. That’s it? Surely there’s got to be some mistake. A bottle of mineral water usually only costs me 6 baht (A$0.21) from the supermarket, or 10 baht (A$0.36) from 7-11! No, sorry might come across LC but I couldn’t let it go. “Erm, sorry but is the water $3?” “Yep.” $3? 3 freakin dollars?!?… Replay that night at the Spit Roast Deli: “What?!? How much is that teeny tiny couldn’t-be-any-smaller slice of grilled chicken with sweet chilli?!?” I used to pay XX baht for a WHOLE chicken in Hua Hin!!!…

I soon realise I’d better readjust pronto(!) or life’s just going to be miserable…

To Billie’s credit, the house though, was spick and span, just as I’ve ordered. Oh, how I’ve missed our bed with that gorgeous view! And look, isn’t he a sweetheart?

He’s even prepared some “welcome home” gifts — probably paid too much for them.

So what else have I been up to apart from trying to get used to how expensive everything in Australia is? @#$%! Trying my darnest to lighten and whiten lor!!! This whole wedding photos business is nothing short of a ROYAL PAIN IN THE A**, REALLY GIVING ME THE SH*TS! I guess if I was born with the natural good fortune of those sickening stick-thin girls who never had to diet one freakin day of their life, or if I could be more 潇洒 about the whole damn thing and just continued to eat whatever I like, throwing all caution to the wind, it might be a less tedious process. Alas! I am neither. Unfortunately, I am but a self-confessed vainpot who puts on weight just by looking at anything suggestively fattening! @#$%! Doesn’t help that we’ve engaged our photographers to come all the way to Sydney to do the photos, just piles on the pressure. Also didn’t help that in the last few weeks, ‘cos I was leaving, suddenly everybody was my friend and was asking me to one farewell party after another!

And it’s not like I haven’t tried. From high protein to fruits and vegies only to plain starvation, I’ve probably tried every freakin diet out there. AND I have also been rigorously exercising, quite regularly too I might add.

And see, as proof of my honest efforts, not only have I armed myself with books — doing it the analytical intellectual way aka Adeline. Gawd!?! That girl is now obsessed with Fitness! She claims she’s found the perfect hobby for herself, I think she’s dicovered her mission in life. Not only does she exercise for up to a few hours a day, she actually goes to the National Library to borrow books on the topic! And to top it off, she’s signed herself up for a marathon! Siao! Also taking supplements, what… I’m a nutritionist after all. If I don’t put my knowledge to good use on myself, then who?

But you know how it is, the more stress one is about something, the more it works against you, or seems too anyway. Dunno leh… the weight just doesn’t seem to be shifting, or it is, but at an incredulously slow pace. The other day when I finally dragged myself down to the bridal studio for the fitting, I found myself apologising to the designer for having put on weight since the measurements were taken, and he curtly replied, “看就懂了”. Ouch. Guess when you sign on with one of these cheena-biang bridal studios along the Tanjong Pagar stretch, you’d just have to be prepared for brutal tactless honesty — part of the package.

The other gruelling procedure I’m putting myself through is whitening. That seems to be the latest craze back in Singapore with the myriad of products being advertised all over the place — from SKII’s Whitening Source to Lancome’s Blanc Expert to Christian Dior’s DiorSnow Pure Perfect Whitening Skin Repairing Essence (wa-lao, such a mouthful, it’s got to be effective!)… there seems no end to the list. And usually, other than putting on sunscreen on my face, I’m not the sort that bothers with such things, but again having been exposed to the harsh Thai sun, I can tell that I am a few shades darker ‘cos even after I remove my wedding band, you can still see a white mark over the finger. Well I’m vain enough to care about that!

But whitening? Whitening? The concept does not exist here downunder. This is afterall the land of solariums and skin cancer clinics where quite the contrary, not getting an even tan’s the bigger problem! So whilst I was back in Singapore, I made sure to stock-up on all these skin-bleaching goodies. Somehow I wasn’t quite convinced that the likes of SKII, Lancome and Dior were any different from Olay, Garnier and Loreal in terms of effectiveness. Those companies probably just have a bigger advertising budget, and I suspect that even if I did pay top-dollar for those premium brands, my skin wouldn’t be an ounce whiter, brighter, more translucent or luminous. Eh, what? These skin-whitening things not cheap leh… a 50ml bottle of SKII’s Whitening Source will cut you back S$188!!! And frankly, don’t you wonder? How much of that money actually goes into your skin, and how much winds up in the pockets of Sammy or Qiqi? I mean I’ve looked through the ingredients of the various products, and they basically look the same to me… Ok, ok, I’m just cheap, can anot? Anyway, I wound up at good ol’ very middle-class afforable Watson’s and here are my final selections:

I’m surprised I even managed to settle on something, what with the mind-boggling array there was! And see, heh heh, I’m gonna try out a whitening mask even! 5 for that matter! Have to be done over 5 consecutive days for bext results.

So yep, these few days till the arrival of Adrian and Elbson (the wedding team) are devoted to losing weight and gaining fairness. Somehow the saying 平时不烧香, 临时抱佛脚 (very literally translated to “normally don’t burn joss-stick, hugging the Buddh’a feet at the eleventh hour) comes to mind… aiyah what to do… now I can only try my best lor… worst comes to worst… there’s always photoshop!