29 July 2006 — So let me update all those of you who have not been clued in on the latest developments here in Hua Hin. From the last few blogs, I guess you would know Wil & I went on this bombastic Marrakech-Barcelona-Zurich trip a few weeks back (speaking of which, erm, prolly would have to delay blogging about that till later, no patience waiting for photos to upload here in the land of dial-up). Well, that was needless to say, an amazing trip, not just getting to spend time with my hubby in all these exotic places, but being in a first-world environment (apart from Marrakech) doing all the things I love — I was “in my element”. And I thought yeah, this is how my life should be. Who am I kidding thinking HH suits me?… and hence the seeds were sown.

Next was all the changes that took place here at CS in the short span of the 2 weeks that I was gone. For instance, they’ve changed the security guard lady (the last one just vanished into thin air, have never seen her since), management has decided to whip our spa cuisine benefit away once the new canteen is up and running, and amongst other little changes here and there, the big news: Belli has resigned. Well, it was no surprise really. Once Francois, her bf who was the yoga instructor here left, we knew her heart just wasn’t in it anymore. So the second day I was back, she came into my office and said, “Yup, I’m leaving, so when’s your turn?”

And my first reaction was: “What are you going on about? I have no intention to leave…” But that night I stewed on it a little, and those of you who know me would know that once an idea gets into my head, there’s no turning back. Especially when coupled with the thoughts that had already been running through my mind from the trip. Resistance was futile. Yeah, I thought, I guess I could go… and within seconds… I could, I should, I WOULD! What’s stopping me? I’m miserable here, I’m not getting the experience I was promised, management is starting to be an ass about lots of things including wages, annual leave and benefits that are clearly stated in our contract, throwing them out without the slightest hint of remorse, like really, what am I hanging around for? So with my probation review up the following day, I thought: well, there’s no better time. So yup, all Angelika, my manager, had to say was: “I’m only surprised you didn’t quit the first day back from your holidays.” So with that my notice was served, I was due to depart on 23 July. Adeline was arriving on the 24th, and I just wanted to spend a few nice and relaxing days with her before heading home.

But yes… today on 30 July, I’m still here, stuck in my office, thinking “why the hell am I still here?” So what happened? I crumbled, like a table water cracker, that’s what. Thing is, Birgit, another 1 of 4 Health & Wellness advisors here at CS has just abandoned ship with close to no warning. She had an episode of retinal detachment (in layman’s term, the retina detached from the eyeball, and if not operated on immediately, could potentially cause blindness) one morning, and the next, she had already left for home. No one knows when she’s coming back, or if she’s EVEN coming back. The word is “no” ‘cos she’s also had grievances about the place for a loong time.

So initally with me leaving on the 23rd, and Belinda due to depart on the 30th, the Health & Wellness Dept is slowly but surely falling to pieces. ‘Cos that would leave only Angelika and Tracey, who’s the newbie. And from guest arrivals, it looks like we’re starting to head into busy period. That would certainly not be good when either one of them have their day off, leaving one person to hold up the entire fortress… there’s just no freaking way, not on days when we have up to 22 guests arriving… And of course, it never rains but pours, just when Angelika could really do with some fresh blood, all the potential candidates for the job just got tied up in one way or other, (one of which had the crazy idea that she could still come after she has a baby in about a month’s time?!? Right… ) leaving no one on the backburner.

And man… the tension in the air… all that stress and worry on their faces, Angelika’s and Nap’s (our co-ordinator who does all the bookings for us), whoa… definitely not a bunch of happy campers… and so, I CRUMBLED. Beyond my belief, I heard myself mouthing those fateful words, “well, if you really need me, I guess I could stay for a while more.” DAMN! You can imagine, HR completely lapped it up! Completely!

I couldn’t do it. As despo as I was to get out of here, and not to make myself out to be some kind of saint or what, though I’ve heard that used on me in recent days amongst other exaltative terms like “god-sent” and “employee of the month”, there was no way I could have left them in the lurch…

So right, one more month folks! I’ll be outta here on 31 August, and this time, there’s no extension!

Sigh… feeling rather fragile today though, ‘cos Belli’s leaving CS/HH for good later this afternoon, just came to say all her goodbyes. The end of an era for her, but also for me, cause she was one of my closest friends when I first came, and now that she’s leaving… oh well… guess I’m partly sad to see her go (her empty office seems so, so, so EMPTY!), but I’m even more upset that it’s NOT me leaving! Damn Crumbler. And so the new’s out, guess I’ll be seeing some of you soon, hopefully that’s good news for you?